Boundaries and Breaks
Why they're both important 🏖️+ a special offer
“Can you just jump online and make one quick change?”
I got a call on holiday once with someone asking for me to do that.
And you know what? It ruined my holiday.
It wasn’t at the start of the holiday, it was smack bang in the middle of it.
I was laying on the beach, reading a great book and starting to feel relaxed.
And in the blink of an eye, that feeling was gone.
I didn’t have my laptop with me (as a rule, I never take it on holiday), which meant I had to go on a search for a public computer somewhere in the resort I was staying in.
That “one quick change”, actually ended up taking half the day (or more).
And I felt resentful for the rest of my holiday…and the feeling lingered when I got back to the office.
This was in the days before I felt confident to say “unless the building is burning down, don’t contact me.”
With my social media feed currently full of friends enjoying the European Summer (I’m not jealous at all), I thought it would be a great time to share my tips on boundary setting so you can make the most of your break.
Here are my tips on setting boundaries and making the most of your break
First and foremost, make sure you’ve booked your time off well in advance. And here’s a nudge, if you don’t have any days off booked within the next three months - book some right now!
Tell everyone you’re going on holiday. Be really loud about it - not in an obnoxious way but in an informative way, give people the opportunity to raise anything they need from you before you switch off.
Let people know who to contact while you’re away (hint…it’s not you). And if it’s you, make sure you’re really clear about what constitutes an emergency (another hint - we’re not saving lives in marketing, there are very few things that can’t wait a day, week or even a couple of weeks to action).
Make your out of office or Slack status fun. Bring a smile to peoples faces and let them know you’re going to be having fun while you’re away…no-one want to be the killjoy that interrupts that.
Turn off all notifications and delete work apps off your phone. Remove the temptation to “just check in”. Plus, if people see you’ve opened an email or you’re showing as active online, they’ll be more likely to contact you. Don’t be your worst enemy.
Leave your laptop at home. You don’t need to lug it on holiday, and if you’re having a staycation, hide it in a cupboard “out of sight, out of mind”. Or you can just simply “forget your charger”.
Hold your boundaries. If someone calls, don’t answer. Send them a quick message to find out what they want. If the building isn’t burning down, let them know you’ll speak to them when you’re back at work.
Live in the moment. It’s so important to be present…for yourself, for your family, for your friends…whomever you’re spending your time with, make sure you’re actually “there”. Don’t be thinking about your to-do list, what you might be missing out on, etc. If you’re thinking about work (or actually working) you’re missing out on living life and creating memories with loved ones.
Have fun! This is the most important one.
Remember that holidays are a legal right…they aren’t a benefit or privilege that needs to be earnt. Never feel guilty about taking time off that you’re legally entitled to. Burnout is real, and you can’t pour from an empty cup. Your health - both mental and physical - is the most important thing.
And here are a few things I’ve learnt throughout the years, when people try to disrupt your time off:
There’s a false sense of urgency in some industries - especially tech - where “it’s the end of the world” if something’s not done right away. It’s never the end of the world, whatever it is, it can wait or be dealt with by someone else. Take your time off and enjoy it.
Some people are just dicks - there’s a control factor at play sometimes. There are actually people who get a thrill from making sure you don’t get to enjoy your holiday. So block them (and the noise) and enjoy your break.
“Contact me whenever, it means I won’t have to spend time with my family” - yep, an actual quote I’ve heard (and many variations of it). Just because there are some people who don’t like spending time with their family, doesn’t mean that they are entitled to disrupt the time you have with yours. Let them be miserable, while you enjoy your holiday.
If you lead a team, read this:
I’ve been fortunate enough to work for some brilliant leaders, and a couple that inspired the three points above, and having been a leader myself this is what’s important for your team:
Lead by example - take breaks, go on holiday and do it loudly. Make it easy for other people to follow the standard you’re setting.
Encourage your team to book holidays - monitor the leave levels in your team, make sure everyone is booking time off. You don’t want them to burn out (and they don’t want to either).
There shouldn’t be anything that a junior member of you team is doing, that you can’t do yourself. And if you really can’t do it, use your experience to set expectations across the business and communicate potential delays. Don’t interrupt your teams holidays and don’t throw them under the bus for taking time off.
Make sure they know they can fully switch off. If anything, tell them you’ll be annoyed if you see them online or responding to emails.
Don’t book meetings for their first day back at work. You might be excited they’re back but let them ease into it. No-one wants a 9am meeting after a week off.
This one’s really easy…just don’t be a dick. Let your team enjoy their holidays, be so proactive with them taking time off, that they don’t even need to think about the need to set boundaries.
Just because we now live in a world where we can be “always-on” and “always contactable”, doesn’t mean that we have to be…or should be.
The tech withdrawal and FOMO is real, it will feel uncomfortable for a few days BUT watching a sunrise or sunset, visiting a new place and spending time with loved ones is so much more important. Life is for living.
Setting boundaries around time off can be tough…I know from my own experience and from working with clients as well.
Here’s how I’ve help coach clients around this topic:
Planning time off - the whole timeline. Everything from booking the time, setting and managing expectations, building strategies for how to actually switch off and not work (this was a big one) and being comfortable with the fact that things will continue to work - even when you’re not.
Role playing conversations. I’ve role played conversations (especially difficult ones) and different scenarios with clients. Sometimes just being prepared with what to say can make all the difference (even if you never have to say it).
Planning for return to work. This one is not only for short holidays but for people returning to work after an extended break - like maternity leave. Working through what you’re first week or month could look like, and what you need from others to help make that transition easier.
If you’d like some support around setting boundaries, so you can your time off, I’d love to have a chat.
Send me an email at hello@debbiegainsford.com, and put “holiday” in the subject line and we can book some time in. For the rest of July, you can take up a holiday planning session for AU$200 (for 45 minutes).
Thanks for making to the end, this week’s song, for a little holiday inspiration…